Despite my many declarations of being done with True Blood, I admit that I went right ahead and watched it again on Sunday. That, when I don’t do alcohol. Or curse in company. OR go about throwing stuff at the TV.
BIG FUCKING MISTAKE!
So Eric stakes Amber, their last hope to find Nu me! Still trying to understand why he didn’t drink her blood though and why both Eric and Pam couldn’t tell there were multiple humans just outside the door :(. Helloooo writers!Thousand year old viking here! Don’t ruin/insult him like this…This is what my fav recon marine Sg Brad Colbert has to say about that.
Poor normal parents Andy and holly are still looking for their missing kids. Violet has a violet mansion, complete with a fuck-room. How lovely!
Which brings us to BILL FLASHBACK#1 ABOUT THE JOYS OF ARRANGED MARRIAGE!! Yeah we are real interested in the subject and cannot contain our excitement.
Followed with sweet Hoyt’s return with another 2-episode wonder blonde that Jason totally wants to get it on with. And yes, Jason’s still into walk-men and can run a vacuum cleaner, when theres ghosts of a past girlfriend to clean.
Time for BILL FLASHBACK#2 CHRONICLING AN INTRIGUING CIVIL WAR ERA GARDEN PARTY!!
On with the rest, Dr. Ludwig drives a hummer. Dr. Ludwig finds Bill gross! Oh we all do…Gramps Niall doesn’t like Bill, but appreciates good spaghetti. And he is not above tricking his grandchild to waste her time. That is such a grand-parenty thing to do and about the only part I enjoyed about the episode, apart from the blink and miss Eric sightings. Sookie is whining about some miracle. Meh!
Which brings us to YET ANOTHER BILL FLASHBACK (#3) ON THE MIRACLE OF CHILDBIRTH IN DA COMPTON HOUSE and Bill is says something I can’t recall to his wife!!
Mayor Sam needs to drink to think whether he should leave with his girlfriend and their would be child or stay in Bon Temps and do what he does. Which is hold good for nothing town meetings where people can get together and think bad stuff about Sookie! I should remind you, everything in this show is about Sookie!
Oh yes, and Sarah Nume has gone bonkers and seeing all kinds of shit…
The whole eye/brain sore ends with Sookie duck-flapping her arms and running over to Bill’s for some midnight guilt-trip fire-side nookie with a dying of Hep-V’ed vampire Bill, because I dunno, he was her first and all and needs her good fairy vag one more time before he dies! I tell you, at this point, a good honest shooting’s too good for these two! There has not been one major female protagonist that I’ve hated as much as this one here and the show isn’t even over yet!
So, yeah, we needed this –
But guess what, sometimes brain bleach is not enough…
So I wrote a crack fic. Go on, read it. I bet it’ll make you feel better. I must warn you though. In addition to Bill bashing, I am also going to let it loose on Sookie Stackhouse. The only people who won’t be subjected to ridicule/killing/bashing etc would be Niall and Eric. Sg Brad already read it and is feeling better. Click on his pretty picture below to get to it.
Dream On... 