Chapter 27: Heart’s Desire

Another chapter in Sookie’s POV. I have included the translations in parenthesis ‘(‘, ‘)’ along with the dialogue, to minimize the back and forth J

This chapter is making me nervous. I have never written lemons. I tried here…Hope you like it…And I hope I keep on improving…

 

Sookie’s POV

“Men ikväll (But tonight)… jag vill att du ska röra vid mig (I want you to touch me)… Jag vill veta hur det skulle kännas (I want to know how that would feel)” I whispered, gathering the courage to speak those words to him. He looked on, with a slightly glazed look in his eyes…his whole body wet and dripping from the dive…He looked magnificent. I couldn’t help tracing my hands over his well sculpted arms, to feel what I had only seen, before this moment, and dragged his hands to rest on my waist, silently asking him to feel me too. “Jag vill ha din kamp härdade händer på min hud och verkligen vet hur grov och hur mjuka fingrarna skulle vara … (I want your battle hardened hands on my skin and really know how rough and how soft your fingers would be)”

The place on my waist, where his hand touched me, warmed and shivered at his touch. His large hands almost circled my waist. Suddenly, in his arms, I felt very small.

That was new…

A deep fire started in Eric’s eyes…It broke the last of my thin, stretched thread of control, with a resonating twang. I suddenly found a missing piece of my heart, right there…I couldn’t wait…I couldn’t question it…I just let myself drown in it…In his intoxicating presence…Then I pulled his face for the first, searing, lovers’ kiss of my immortal life.

As soon as our lips touched, Eric’s hold tightened, his hands went around me and he pulled me flush against him. Touching and kissing him like that for the very first time brought out something in me that I didn’t know existed. A blind possessive need to clutch him and claim him as mine in front of the whole universe exploded inside me. I bit his lower lip and groaned at the feeling of his soft lips in my mouth. He growled and bit my upper lip, sucking hungrily. I needed more. For a moment I thought about gliding up to reach him better. Before I could do that, he kneeled slightly and squeezed my hips, kneading me expertly, getting acquainted with the dips and mounds…. It felt…good…amazing. Going lower, he pressed my thighs and I immediately knew what he wanted from me. I bent my knees and let him lift me, without breaking the kiss. I just couldn’t get enough of his lips… Judging by the sounds he was making and his hold on me, he couldn’t get enough either. I circled my legs around him and crossed my feet on his back. My hands found their own way around his neck to hold him as close as possible as Eric tilted his head a little, licking at my lower lip, silently coaxing me to open up more.

I did…

And he threaded one hand through my hair to hold my face while he tasted my mouth. His thoughts were going into a kind of frenzy as he swung between reverence and lust, all the time getting more and more swept in the moment, while I got lost in his scent, his taste and his heated body pressed against mine. Wherever he touched, I burned…My hands curled into fists in his hair and I gently tugged, earning me another groan, which made me bite his lip again …His heart skipped a beat and a shiver ran through his spine. I knew he was overwhelmed. He suddenly broke the kiss, but did not let go of me, resting his forehead on my chin to breathe again.

“För mycket (Too much)…” he panted, “du är (you are)… vackra (beautiful)… och gudomliga (and divine)…” he paused again to catch his breath, “Gudinna (Goddess)…”

His ragged hot breath brushed my neck and raised goose bumps all over me. I hadn’t known it was possible for an immortal angel to get goose bumps. His face slipped down and his nose skimmed my neck as his lips touched the center of my collarbones, exactly on the sternum. With his lips pressed there, Eric took in a couple of deep breaths. Then he started licking my overheated skin. A moan escaped my lips as a million new sensations hit me.  I didn’t want him to stop. I buried a hand in his hair to keep him there… Eric inhaled again and his lips travelled to the left, along my collarbone, nibbling and tasting all the way…

“Vackra (beautiful)…” he whispered and dipped his head lower…and lower… “härlig (glorious)…” and opened his mouth to bluntly bite my peeking breast.

“Aaaaahhh…”

I didn’t recognize my voice when I gasped this time. My hands fisted some more, pulling his hair, maybe bordering on painful for my beautiful warrior, who bit me in return, this time lower on my breast, dangerously close to my barely shrouded peak. I could never have known that his bites would feel as good as his kisses. Not that I ever knew what kissing him would feel like. His hair had always looked slightly disheveled whenever I saw him but I hadn’t known it would feel so soft in my hands. The lines of his glorious body, that I had only seen flexed with hard muscles and tendons when he moved in battle, now held me with a force that was both raw and sweet. I hadn’t known his hands on me, would feel rough and luxurious at the same time. I should have thrown away the rules and come sooner. He was worth all the risk I was taking.

I had seen all of him…mind, body, soul…He was worthy of being the first to touch me this way… …

I also knew it would be the last time this would happen …

I had only this night…

We had only this one night…

I pulled his hair to look into his eyes again. They were dark blue pools of lust, lust that fed into my own desire and magnified it beyond control. Not breaking eye contact, I unwrapped my legs from around him. My heart immediately fought with me for even that small increase in distance between us. He let me do that but did not loosen his arms hugging me. I reached back and took hold of his hands bringing them slowly to the front, between us. Then I took a step back in the water, pulling at his hands.

Eric followed…

I knew at that time, Eric would have followed just about anywhere I went…

His eyes kept rooted to mine, almost as if a thread was connecting us. The water became deeper and came up to my shoulders, drenching me completely, but I kept walking back. There was a place I wanted to take him to. The water was ice cold, but warmed up wherever I went.

The water bed dropped suddenly and my feet left the ground beneath them. I pulled at Eric’s hand as I started floating, taking him farther into the lake. Eric dived underwater and playfully pulled my ankle to bring me under the surface too. Surprisingly, I hadn’t seen that coming. I think I squealed before being pulled in. I didn’t need to breathe so being under water didn’t bother me. And I could clearly see Eric smiling smugly at his trick. Seeing him playing with me like that…I just could not help swimming towards him and clutching his face in my hands for another kiss. Eric gathered me in his strong arms and rolled over to bring me on top as he hungrily kissed me back. He was an excellent swimmer and though he did need to breathe, he still held out for some time before we hit the surface again, devouring each other’s lips.

We reached the small waterfall at the back of the lake. The water flowed into the lake, over a protruding edge of a rock, underneath which there was a small cave like covered space, behind the curtain of the water. I crossed the curtain and Eric followed, still clutching my waist. The small cave was flooded with moonlight coming through a niche in the rocks above. The rocks made a shallow pool of water inside that came up till my stomach, which was surrounded by an almost flat bed of rocks a couple of feet wide. Lit by moonlight, this place was a world in itself.

Eric looked around in wonder, “Vad är det här stället? (What is this place).”  His voice rang out throughout the cave, amplified somehow by the shape of the rocks around. It also rang with a bit of doubt that was again creeping up in his mind. I didn’t know the name of the place, if that was what he was asking. I’d never kept track of the ever changing names people gave to places.

I smiled and sat up on the rock, my legs dipping in the water and Eric came to stand in front of me, looking equal parts confused and aroused. It brought out a chuckle in me, which again echoed around us. I leaned close to his face and winked “Shhhhhhh…Jag vet inte (I don’t know).”

His eyes glazed over and he gazed dreamily at me…I didn’t have to be in his thoughts to know he was fascinated and confused and awestruck at the same time. I hadn’t known his gaze alone would do so many things to my body. He didn’t know I was fascinated and confused and awestruck too. Everything he did to me was new. And it was blissfully maddening. I kept looking into his eyes and tried to gather all of this memory to keep it safe with me forever…He cupped my face in his hands and asked in a whisper, “Vem är du…(Who are you)?”

I was an angel who was physically incapable of lying. I was a being who did not belong there and yet could not leave just yet. But I could not tell him all of this. I didn’t want to ruin this one night by scaring off the one man I had always wanted to hold me as he was holding me now. But he asked a valid question and I wanted to answer as truthfully as I could. I owed that much to him. Deep down, who was I actually?

I placed my hands on top of his and answered softly, “Bara en tjej … (Just a girl)”

Eric shook his head slightly, “Du är mer än bara en flicka … (You are more than just a girl)…” he caressed my cheeks, “Du förtrolla mig … (You bewitch me)” he blew gently over a lock of hair that was coming in my eyes and caught it between his fingertips, “Du drar mig som ingen annan …( You draw me like no other)” one of his hands travelled south and traced my collarbone, “Du känner dig som ingen annan …( You feel like no other)” he bent and nipped my ear and I shivered with the growing anticipation. “Jag vill dyrka dig och sluka dig och sedan dö nästa sekund … (I want to worship you and devour you and then die the next second)” he whispered in my ear and then blew on my neck.

I felt that air reach every particle of my being. My eyes shut themselves and I moaned!

Was it possible to reach heaven in the words of a man?

I just found out…

Eric’s heart skipped a beat. His thoughts practically screamed to him to forget caution and give into the moment. His heart sided with his body and wanted to trust me. As the last of his defenses fell away, he asked me the only question he could think of at the point, “Vad ska jag kalla dig… (What should I call you)?”

What should he call me?

My name was not significant. What I was, was what mattered. I knew what he was to me. As for what I was to him, I hadn’t even said the words to myself. But being there with him physically, touching him, listening to his sweet words in my ears, broke my defenses too. What was left in the wake was the pure, unadulterated, all-consuming wish to give my whole self to him and have all of him in return. Had I ever stood a chance of denying this need?

No…

I wanted him. Warrior, lover, man…All of him… even if it was for a few meagre hours.

I looked into his eyes and brought his hand to rest on my breast. “Ikväll är jag din älskare … din gåva … och du är min… (Tonight I am your lover…your gift…and you are mine…)” I answered hoarsely.

His breath hitched and his eyes smoldered. He brought his other hand onto the gold clasp at my shoulder, fingered the gold loop that clasped my robe at my breast and said, “dessa är våt… (these are wet)”, and pried both the clasps open. The wet cloth still clung to my body. Never taking his eyes off mine, Eric gathered the fabric in his fist and slowly tugged it away. With the same slow, torturous movements, he proceeded to remove his clothes, one thing at a time, setting his own pace, observing each and every response he was getting from me for each and every article he took off. He piled everything on the rocks beside us, still not touching me at all. I knew he was teasing me. He was also judging my patience and my eagerness for him.

I could be patient…He had no idea how patient I could be…

So I kept still, following each and every move and took my time to appreciate the stunning sight in front of me. He finished… and smirked, pleased with his show.  I was too far gone into the moment to bring him down a notch. Fact was, as much as I loved his humility, strength and courage, I loved his occasional cockiness too. It suited him…

He ran his fingertips along my bare thighs, starting from my knees, going up, and suddenly, all play left our thoughts. He parted my legs and came to stand in between, ghosting a touch there where I was getting warmer with each caress. He brought a hand behind my neck and pulled me for another kiss. This one was different. It was more…

His other hand went to my breast and started teasing, pinching and pulling, never once letting go of my lips. He certainly knew what he was doing. I, on the other hand, was at a loss. Feeling this through another person’s thoughts and feeling it for myself was so miles apart that I was completely blown away by all the sensations running through me. I felt alive and on fire. That fire wanted more…

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him closer. He growled and let go of my neck, dragging his hand down my heated skin and cupped me between my legs. The contact brought out an involuntary whimper from me. His fingers parted the folds and dipped inside. “Så. våt… och. varm… (So. wet…and. hot)” he said against my lips, biting and sucking after every word. Eric’s long fingers started moving in circles, which produced a sensation that curled my toes and I threw back my head in sweet agony. His mouth travelled from my lips to my jaw. Moving down, he bluntly bit my shoulder and kept going down till he latched onto my nipple, all the while making the long, magical circles with his fingers in my heated center. The torturous circles became smaller, more concentrated on the tip of my core, while he pressed his fingers a little more. My breathing quickened and I didn’t know when I started moving in time with his hand. By that time I was fast losing awareness of anything but the slowly building heat where his fingers were pressing and moving. I felt more liquid pouring out of me and making his work easier for him. I started sweating all over as the pleasure built. Then he pinched…

Ohh for all that is holy!

Something exploded inside and in a flash everything fell apart. My glow that I had kept muted with effort reared out of my pores and completely engulfed us, probably blinding him for a moment.

But he didn’t let go. And he didn’t stop…

His palm replaced the nub he was circling and he plunged one finger inside. I shuddered all over and clutched at him to keep sitting. His finger hit my wall and dug in slightly. He brought his lips to my ears and whispered, “Vad är en älskare till mig att göra med det här?… (What is a lover of mine doing with this?)

“Väntar på hennes krigare att hävda henne … (Waiting for her warrior to claim her)”, I panted, hardly able to speak, “Tog du längtar … (took you long)”

“Retsticka…(tease)”, he whispered and then licked the rim of my ear, before pulling back and gazing deep into my eyes. I knew what he wanted to ask. I could hear it in his thoughts, loud and clear. He wanted my permission to go further.

At the time, I couldn’t not go on…

So I nodded and brushed my lips on his. That was all the confirmation he needed. He took hold of my ankles and circled them around him again. The height of the rock I was sitting on, had us aligned perfectly.

“Titta på mig älskare… Du är orörd. Detta kommer att göra ont i början … (Look at me lover…You are untouched. This will hurt at first)” he said, looking intently in my eyes.

He was looking so concerned. It warmed my heart even more. I wanted to tell him that pain did not affect me as it did with humans. But maybe, tonight, with my first brush with true pleasure, I would feel my twinge of pain too. Whatever it would be- pain or pleasure, I wanted to feel it all.

I could ease his concern though. “Jag vill känna det … med dig… (I want to feel it…with you…)”

He smiled and sweetly kissed me. Holding my back firmly with one hand, he brought himself closer and rubbed against my core. We both groaned at the sensation. It felt heavenly…Then, gently and ever so carefully, he started pushing inside. The now familiar tingle ran through me again and I braced my hands on his strong shoulders to keep my balance.

~

If I wanted to say it in words, I might not find the right ones. I had walked the world, mortal and immortal for a long time, seen and listened to a lot of things. I had thought there was nothing left to feel.

I was wrong.

There is a place in the heart of every being, where there is completion, light, happiness…Most beings live all their lives looking for that place outside of themselves, blaming fate when they don’t find it. They hurt themselves and they hurt their friends and lovers in their desperation to find the pieces that complete them and give them everlasting happiness. But they keep looking in the wrong places and they keep failing and cursing everything that goes wrong.

But fate is not cruel. Fate never wanted her children to suffer in vain. She already gave them all they would ever want and then hid it inside them. All we had to do was look within.

I lived my life helping others find that place within themselves, never once stopping to think I needed to find it too. You could say that disregarding the rules of my kind and giving myself to Eric also amounted to searching for that happiness outside of me. But giving myself to Eric was not about searching for happiness or for wanting him to complete me. I took that last step towards him because I found that place and the elusive path to it.

I reached out to him…I embraced my differences from my brothers and sisters…I decided to give my heart’s desire a chance…And in the arms of my heart’s desire, I found my home…

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