I regretfully accept that I have used up my day’s supply of super girl bravado…
Because right now, sitting in a car, a mighty flashy Porsche by the way, in an enclosed space with Eric Fucking Northman, is scaring the crap outta me! And it doesn’t even have to do with the way he is driving like a bat out of hell.
Thank god I had some leftover wits and a fortuitous foresight to ask him, in time, to take me to his hotel, instead of to my home, where I am pretty sure a very grumpy Bill still lurked away in the shadows, for an ambush…Yeah no! I can do without that for one more night for sure!
However, nervous Sookie strikes again and no number of reassuring platitudes I tell myself, are curing my absolute nerves with what I am doing, or planning to do right now. There is this strange déjà vu of heady excitement and caution building up inside me, just like the time when I met Eric for the very first time. But this time, my actions can hardly fit into anything I’ve done before. One, I never do drunken hook ups and I am bordering on drunk and going in for a hook up with a virtual stranger right now, uhhmm hopefully a hookup at least! Two, Eric is my boss’s boss’s boss, and if this little adventure trip goes south, my job is going to get messy. I have been working very hard to make a career in the industry. This right here is a big risk to my current employment. Sure I can get another job. But all the ground work and networking for this one, the long hours of hard work for an out of turn promotion, everything, then comes to naught. So no, I am not looking forward to jeopardizing my work situation.
Why then, am I foolishly, recklessly, sitting in a flashy car with the company President, heading over to his hotel, surely not to go through fucking TPS reports with him, instead of going home and staying put?
On top of it, as an effect of just sitting across from him, there’s a hell of an after party going on with my lady bits. One of his hands is resting on the gear shift and for some reason I can’t look away from his big hands…The way his fingers are casually tapping, the way the nerves at the back of his hand stick out when his fingers move, the way he occasionally flexes his palm…Those hands could be tapping something else…
From the radio, Taylor Swift starts singing about a treacherous slope and a reckless path. Talk about timing!
“You’re very silent.”
“Yeah I…I never do this sort of thing you know.” I reply in a low voice and peek at him for his response. Somewhere along the way, my lust is getting tackled by wariness and insecurity. The car ride gave me unwanted thinking time and here’s what I think. Not that I don’t want to jump the man-god. Who wouldn’t? But things are not as they were before, when I first met him. I am pretty sure I didn’t even know his second name at the time. Now, it is much more complicated. I close my eyes in frustration, willing the questions away. Why can’t I have one fucktastic night of pure abandon and not care about anything else?
He frowns at the traffic. I guess he noted the change in my tone, from confident seductive to nervous fidgety. We stop at a red light and he turns to look at me, a reassuring smile playing on his lips.
“You seem tired. Maybe we should get you home and call it a night?”
His lilting voice is so soothing…My body reacts differently to his words this time. Now, I just want to curl up in his arms and listen to his soothing voice in my ears all night, magicking my troubles away.
But he asked me something about taking me home!
Where there is angry bird Bill, lying in wait, ready to smash my house of cards…
How do I tell him that I am trying to avoid home right now? I just don’t have the energy for that sort of confrontation. And, call me an opportunistic bitch, but I am not ready to let go of Eric just yet, hookup or no. Now why is that?
More fucking confounding questions!
“I am not that tired. But…uh…can we get some coffee?”
“Coffee? At 2:00 AM?” he cocks an eyebrow.
Damn that eyebrow!
My hand just reaches across, to touch it, straightening it, before I am fully aware of my actions. His skin is warm and his temples are sweating a bit, though I could not have seen it. I trace my pointy finger around his eye, down his cheek, stopping to lightly cup his jaw. I am sure my touch was feather light, but his breath hitched.
“You have beautiful eyes…”
His lips twitch and he mumbles as he starts the car on the light change. “How much did you drink, exactly?”
“Your eyes would still be the same without any drinks in me! In fact…” I tuck a leg under me and turn to my side to face him and lean my head sideways on the headrest… “I am pretty sure my vision improves after a couple of shots.” So does my foolishness for that matter! And I have no idea what I am saying…Or why…
He gives me a sideways glance and smirks.
We are both silent for a while, but the silence is not awkward. In fact, it is building on the already extreme sexual tension we have between us. I have not moved from my sideways position. I am liking the sight of his beautiful profile along with the city lights. I did remember his face but my memories have not done him justice and now I can’t take my eyes off him. I have the excuse of bordering on being drunk to explain away the staring, if he asks. He doesn’t ask and keeps stealing sidelong glances once in a while.
“What are you up to?” I am pretty sure by the mumbling that the question was not meant for me.
“I don’t have a fucking clue…” I answer anyways.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “Seriously Sookie…You are in no condition to be left alone with me right now!”
So was he flirting? Or just observing a fact? Or having an untimely and unwelcome attack of the Act-responsibly-with-the-drunk-girl idea? Or worse still, trying to dump me back at my doorstep because I was being a little silly?
Hey but I wasn’t being silly! I was being honest…And a hell of a lot more courageous than I knew I could be. In fact, propositioning him and leaving the party with him was the one and only exciting spontaneous thing I had done this week. Ummm no, this month. Oh hell who was I kidding! Maybe it was the only exciting this I had done this past year!
So I simply refuse to let any number of doubts or questions rain in on my evening. If I drank a few, then I drank a few! If I absolutely humiliated my ex in front of our coworkers, then fuck it, I did and I am proud of doing it! If I flirted shamelessly with the new hot company president, then so what? Flirting is not criminal! Acting like a hussy ain’t so either…And by God, I want to act like a hussy, so bad, right fucking now!
Let’s see if Mr. Responsible can handle Miss Sookie Sex-Pot Stackhouse!
“Afraid of a little adventure, Mr. Northman?” I said in my low husky sexy alter-ego voice.
He fixes me with a fuck-hot steamy stare. “Whatever made you think this adventure would be little, Miss Stackhouse? I thought you would remember how ‘not little’ it can be!” and cocks that damn eyebrow again!
Seductive Eric – 1
Sex-Pot Stackhouse – 0
One needs a firm head in moments like these, and images of the not-so-little adventure I was heading towards, just completely enslave my little head and vaporize my coherent thought! And heat up my body in places that have not been warm for some time. I realize that he is again concentrating on the road with a slight smile on his lips, clearly smug with himself and my inability to form a response, and I still have my mouth slightly open. Not cool!
I need to get back some control, right fucking now!
“Don’t get so smug.” I snap. I try to sound unaffected and nonchalant.
He glances at me and laughs, “Are you pouting?”
He brings his hand over to my face and gently holds my chin, brushing my lips with his thumb. And all of my girly hormones stop doing their shit, sit up and take notice!
“Still so soft! Exactly like I remember!” he whispers and caresses my cheek, my jaw and then his finger traces a languid, red hot line from beneath my earlobe down to my sternum, where his hand pauses for a bit, before going back to the damn wheel and then the gear shift. He shifts the lever to the parking position and turns off the ignition. I am suddenly aware of the acute silence and semidarkness enveloping us both. Holy shit! I didn’t even notice that we reached his hotel parking already! Way to go Sookie!
He gets out to my side, opens the door and leans over to remove my safety belt. Frankly, that belt was the only thing keeping me from pouncing on him, all the way! He spends some quality time with my earlobe while he unclasps the contraption and I start giggling. It tickles!
“Something funny Miss Stackhouse?” he croons in my ear. The way his breath brushes my neck and shoulders, sends a shiver down my spine and suddenly, I am not ticklish any more. He gently pulls me out, supporting all my weight. I let him, because I am too dazed to not trip on my high heels.
So here we are again. Me, hanging by his jacket lapels, flush against him. Eric, holding me close, firmly in his arms, scorching my insides with just his piercing gaze. We are not in the middle of a work party anymore. We are now standing in relative privacy, by his car, in a dim area of the hotel parking. How many times did I dream of his arms holding me so tight, after that one time when I gave myself to him? How many times did I wake up from fucking hot sex dreams, all turned on and bothered, missing him so much that it hurt? How many times did I picture him, looking at me, while I touched myself to relieve my body of sheer frustration and then chant his name while I came? How many times did I miss the way he filled me up when I was left unsatisfied by Bill? There was just one teetering thread of shame left that used to snarkily tell me that he was married, whenever I thought about looking for him.
Now, there was nothing to stop me.
There were just his eyes, reaching inside me, and his hands, burning my skin where they touched…
I suddenly realize the magnitude of this situation for me, and for us. I’ve had this crush on him since…Since that night!
I fucked him and his wife. Once! And he pretty much ruined me for everyone else!
Why am I thinking back to all those times when I was an emotional mess and couldn’t have him and not having him hurt like hell? The amount of extreme emotions running through me, are scary and unfamiliar. I don’t want secret subconscious crushes to rear their heads and make me needy! Tonight is not about needy emotions.
But his eyes are bringing out all those damn feelings from deep down the dumps where I chucked them out of sight. They are going to get me hurt again. They are going to push me to loneliness again.
No! Get hold of yourself Stackhouse God Damn It!
I close my eyes, cutting his gaze off, and lean my forehead on his chest, breathing deeply, to shore up my raging thoughts. I can feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat under my hands and on my forehead. I try to concentrate on that. One breath, two breaths, three…My breathing aligns with his rising and falling chest. His scent, that my memory had so exactly catalogued, envelopes me, drowning me in the unique sense of his presence again. He feels so warm. Warmer than my pink fluffy comfort quilt, the one I wrap around me on bad days. His arms are supporting most of my weight already, so I just melt into the embrace and hold him close to me.
She fell asleep!
She fell asleep while she was still hugging me and her soft warm body wrapped around me was driving me to insanity!
One moment, she appeared to be calming herself down and taking measured breaths against my chest. I counted twenty one deep breaths from her. And then she just slumped in my arms, right here in the fucking parking garage, just one short elevator ride away from my suite!
I knew she was too drunk!
I should have taken her to her home instead of bringing her here with me. The good guy in me did ask her that. But the minx just had to goad me into forgetting my decent side and bring her here instead!
I’ll be honest. Since I saw her at the party, I knew I was done for! And she just had to wear that little shiny figure hugging dress, look beyond beautiful, and act all fiery and sassy with her douche ex and then me! I just couldn’t look at her enough! I couldn’t fantasize of her enough! I could not even begin to admit to myself how much I thought about her after spending that one decadent fuckawesome night fucking her.
I had been married at the time. But did that stop me from conjuring up the image of her, sweating and moaning as she came, whenever I drove my wife to an orgasm. I knew I was being an ass. I tried to forget. I really did! I tried to fuck her out of my system. I took up martial arts training to work off all my frustration and longing and guilt of wanting her all the time. But nothing helped. No point lying to myself. I fucked her once. And she pretty much ruined me for anyone else!
So when Sophie shared all these dark fantasies she was having, for none other than my nemesis herself, and a pull that she was feeling for Angel, don’t ask me why I couldn’t stop laughing with fucking tears in my eyes till the next day! Sophie called me an insensitive jerk for making a joke of her feelings. She didn’t know the extent of that joke though! I never told her! She wouldn’t have been able to take it.
A fine pair we were. Married to one another and secretly lusting after the same girl neither of us could have nor find. No wonder our divorce was so speedy. In fact, if Sophie had not admitted to lesbianism and asked for legal separation, I doubt whether my marriage would have survived for long.
One electric touch… That’s all it took… And Sookie Stackhouse just awoke something in me. The fuck I know what!
This devil she awoke, wanted her, and only her, every fucking day of the two years, two weeks and three days that passed till the time I found her again.
But who the fuck was counting the days?
I had her now. And I wasn’t going to let her go!